Monday, 4 January 2010

"A drunk mouth...

... speaks with a sober heart."

And I have consumed a bottle of Rose Cava tonight, so I'm zipping it shut and going to the land of nod!

Who Are You? (Who? Who? Who? Who?)

Oh flaming Nora. "Celebrity" *cough* Big Brother is back. The only good thing is that it's for the last time. I have not watched it, but read about it on BBC News... Man, I felt compelled to make a post about it. I wish to say a few words about the people appearing on it.

First up, Dane Bowers. He wasn't even the fit one in Another Level, back in the day- that was Bobak! Does he have a new record out? Last thing I heard about him was that he got stopped for drink driving. Class Act.

Alex Reid, Jordan's on/off boyfriend. Fair play to BB for pitching 2 of Jordan's ex boys against each other in same house- smart... or it could backfire and be uber boring. I wonder will Reid dress up as a woman to gain some attention after Jordan outted his private antics? I pity the fool. Watch for pics of Jordan and Peter appearing in a park with their kids in all the celeb mags.

Lady Sovereign and DJ Basshunter. WHO? I hate Sovereign rings.

Sisqo. Oh, last thing I heard he said he had the same skin condition that Michael Jackson had... will be interesting to see a picture in the papers- cos I refuse to tune in. BBC News reports that Sisqo performed a version of his biggest (only?) hit "The Thong Song" as he entered the house. They called it a "Big Brother First" cos nobody else has ever sung an already released or future track to gain publicity. By the by, I actually like "The Thong Song", reminds me of being on holiday and hearing it played. So, by that logic only, Sisqo FTW!

Hollywood Madam Heidi Fleiss. Bet producers are hoping that she'll name some of her famous clients, and then she won't. She's probably there on a recruitment drive.

Actor Stephen Baldwin. Cos better brother Alec is too busy making the excellent 30 Rock and having a movie out.

Glamour model Nicola T. Oh, bet she's blonde. And gets her tits out in the shower.

Ekaterina Ivanova. Qualifies as being a celebrity by shagging an ageing alcholic about 50 years older. The 18 month relationship doesn't work out, he slaps her in the street and she sells her story to The Sun (btw, I'm not making light of domestic violence- she's lucky she had the gumption & balls to up and away... just not everyone's so lucky... or gets paid for their story)

Footballer turned actor Vinnie Jones. There because Guy Ritchie has obviously stopped giving him parts.

Actress Stephanie Beacham. Cos when you play Ken Barlow's love interest in Corrie- who he didn't even leave Deirdre for! then it can't get much worse.

The tagline for the series is: Hell lies in others.

No it doesn't. It lies behind the TV screen.